Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
