This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
