My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
