I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
