I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
