what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
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