You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS