Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex