How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
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Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober