oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.