If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?