and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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