Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1047 607 share tweet
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize