im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
