so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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