Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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