I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He called his dick the "gentle giant"