turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Use "feeling words"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?