Joe is yelling at the trees again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.