Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂