Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again

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(773): View more from Illinois

legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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(419): View more from Ohio

You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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(516): View more from New York

the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it

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(682): View more from Texas

Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

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(229): View more from Georgia

You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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(419): View more from Ohio

I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.

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