Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
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SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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