"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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