K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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