YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
