she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
