Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
