remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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