I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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