i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
