Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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