Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
