a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
