Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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