Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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