I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
