then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
