New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We got so high we made milksteak
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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