I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
