Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
