I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
