He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
