that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
