So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize