my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
