Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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