Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
did i just pee glitter
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
