Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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