I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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