i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
