Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
