i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
