I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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