I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
