How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
