found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
