Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize