trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I am morally bankrupt
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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