Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
