Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.