Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.

Fav 30 4119 1092
share tweet
(714): View more from California

He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

Fav 17 1740 7188
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.

Fav 9 1015 3273
share tweet
(919): View more from North Carolina

DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Oh God.

Fav 20 5031 1078
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit

(1-408): View more from California

I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards

Fav 9 2046 925
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"

Fav 5 1479 1018
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."

Fav 20 3037 914
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

Fav 2 794 489
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(325): View more from Texas

'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?

(1-325): View more from Texas

oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?

(325): View more from Texas

I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.

Fav 3 109 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT