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real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
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