Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
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my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.