my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
