I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize