my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
