my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
