This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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