so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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