it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
