That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
