She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
