Whod you bang
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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