Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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