we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
