So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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