you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
