there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
