i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
