dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
