It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
