I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
