My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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